I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and my wife insisted I empty
the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else... After careful
consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the unpleasant
task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the
sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. Then, I withdrew the cork
from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one
glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured
the whiskey down the sink which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth
bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I
pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and
threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass and
poured the cork down the bottle. Then, I corked the sink with the glass, bottled
the drink, and drank the pour. When I had everything emptied, I steadied the
house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the
other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again,
and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank. I'm not under the
affluence of alcohol as some tinkle peep I am. I'm not half as think as you
might drink. I fool so feeblish I don't know who
is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get. I'm not drunk you silly
sit! ...