A woman in a grocery store happens upon a grandfather and his poorly behaved
> 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that Gramps has his hands full with
> the child screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie
> aisle; same for fruit, cereal and soda in their respective aisles.
> Meanwhile, Gramps is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice,
> "Easy, Albert, we won't be long -- easy, boy." Another outburst, and she
> hears Gramps calmly say, "It's okay, Albert, just a couple more minutes and
> we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy." At the checkout, the little
> terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Gramps again in a controlled
> voice says, "Albert, Albert, relax buddy, don't get upset.. We'll be home
> in five minutes; stay cool, Albert." Very impressed, the woman goes outside
> where Gramps is loading his groceries and the boy into the car.. "You know,
> sir, it's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know
> how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how
> loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be
> okay. Albert is very lucky to have you as his grandpa." Thanks, lady," said
> Gramps, "But, I'm Albert -- the little ba$tard's name is Steve." I'm going
> to beat the sh!t out of him when I get him home.