Dear Mr. President,
Senate and House of Representatives:

I'm planning to move my family and extended family (18-20 mouths) into
Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.

We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into
Mexico, and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.

We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration
quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do
here.

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on
my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the
following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might
need, whether I use them or not.

3. All Mexico government forms need to also be printed in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking
(bi- lingual) teachers.

5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my kids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at
their school.

7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and
lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy
access to government services.

9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but, I don't plan to
purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort
to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo
from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every
patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U S.
flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th.
I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or
have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.

13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be
extremely nice and never say a critical things about me or my family,

or about the strain we might place on their economy.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things
for all his people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that
President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him
nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind help.

Sincerely, US Citizen & Taxpayer