Getting married is like volunteering as a test subject for a new drug that nobody knows what it is for or what side affects it will have.

Men generally realize after their 10th or so anniversary that their wedding day marked the last time they were ever right about anything not sports related.

Married men gravitate towards sports because it is the only thing they can voice an opinion about that is given some credence towards rightness, yet absolutely no relevance.

If men could lick themselves like dogs they would never get married and women would not go to court to gain entrance to men only clubs.

If men could lick themselves like dogs, women would run the world and we wouldn't even care.

If men could lick themselves like dogs and women ran the world we might as well all be married except that we probably wouldn't be allowed to lick ourselves.

If I wasn't a married man I would like to be a dog. Maybe a guide dog for a deaf and blind lady so I could lick myself and she wouldn't even know