After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, You wish you had ordered that.
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.