Ever spoken and wished that you could take the words back...or that you
could crawl into a hole? Here are a few people who do....
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several
minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works
at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at
him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
Nuts about You - My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store
that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on
him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick luncheon
between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying
my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny
had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go,
and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an
accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are
you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because
the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did
you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent
over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While
30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled
up his pants and sat down An old couple made me feel better by thanking me
for the best laugh they'd ever had!
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get
any....a true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it
was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and
asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not
only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too! They were
laughing so hard!
