> I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,
> Feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The
> first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since they
> congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when
> we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags
> of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away) that it should
> not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to
> calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
> I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The
> cattle, which had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were
> not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed up - 3 of them.
> I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder,
> and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.
> I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would
> have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could
> tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step
> towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and
> received an education.
> The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand
> There looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action
> when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.
> The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
> stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could
> fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance. That thing
> ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and
> certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started
> dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a
> rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally imagined. The only up
> side is that they do not have as much stamina as many animals. A brief 10
> minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet
> and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize
> this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in
> my head.
> At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just
> wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I
> just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die
> slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between
> me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing and I would venture a
> guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the
> several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by
> bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the
> ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a
> small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the
> situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a slow
> death so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the
> feeder - a little trap I had set before hand. Kind of like a squeeze chute.
> I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could get my rope
> back.
> Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years
> would have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised
> when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my
> wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse
> where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its
> head - almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
> The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze
> and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
> ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several
> minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a
> deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I
> kept it busy tearing the bejeebees out of my right arm, I reached up with my
> left hand and pulled that rope loose.
> That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
> Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their
> back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves
> are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that when an animal like
> a horse strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the
> best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move
> towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you
> can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such
> trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond I devised a
> different strategy. I screamed like woman and tried to turn and run.
> The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a
> horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you
> in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after
> all, besides being twice as strong and three times as evil, because the
> second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked
> me down. Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not
> immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has
> passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you
> while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
> I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
> Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split
> open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty good and
> felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back was
> bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket had protected me
> from most of the worst of it. I drove to the nearest place, which was the
> co-op. I got out of the truck, covered in blood and dust and looking like
> hell. The guy who ran the place saw me through the window and came running
> out yelling, "what happened?"
> I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that would prohibit
> an individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area that they
> have overlooked entirely. Knowing, as I do, the lengths to which law
> enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power, I was concerned that
> they may find a way to twist the existing laws to paint my actions as
> criminal. I swear...not wanting to admit that I had done something
> monumentally stupid played no part in my response.
> I told him "I was attacked by a deer." I did not mention that at the
> time I had a rope on it. The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on
> the back of my jacket where it had stomped all over me and a large deer
> print on my face where it had struck me there. I asked him to call somebody
> to come get me. I didn't think I could make it home on my own. He did.
> Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted to know
> about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are is a rare thing and
> wildlife and parks was interested in the event. I tried to describe the
> attack as completely and accurately as I could. I was filling the grain
> hopper and this deer came out of nowhere and just started kicking the hell
> out of me and BIT me. It was obviously rabid or insane or something.
> EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at
> the co-op has a big mouth). For several weeks people dragged their kids in
> the house when they saw deer around and the local ranchers carried rifles
> when they filled their feeders. I have told several people the story, but
> NEVER anybody around here. I have to see these people every day and as an
> outsider - a "city folk". I have enough trouble fitting in without them
> snickering behind my back and whispering "there is the idiot that tried to
> rope the deer."[88]