When I was 17, my mother remarried and moved to Tulsa Oklahoma, leaving me alone to finish my senior year of high school in the little town where we lived (She was only about an hour away and I was very responsible for my age).
My girlfriend had decided to stay the night one Saturday, on Sunday morning we woke up and started to have sex.

We got very involved and she started screaming very loudly, then we heard the toilet flush in the next room - my mother had come home for a Sunday lunch!

When we finally got the courage to come out of the bedroom, my mother was sitting at the dining room table and asked "Did your father have the whole sex talk with you before we got divorced?"

He hadn't, but as most kids did at that time we learned in school, I said "No mom, he did not."

To which she replied, "I didn't think so, we were married for 28 years and he never made me scream like that!!"