These are our rules! (and yes, they're all number 1).

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. Look before you sit. If it's
up, put it down.

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is

1. A headache that lasts for 7 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work, strong hints do not work, obvious hints do not work, Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. If you won't dress like the "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" />Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like romance book heroes.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done,
not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we
were going out. Get over it.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is a vegetable. We have no idea
what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth trying to figure it out. [}]